Abandon all hope ye who attempt to sign into the Playstation Network! For thou shalt rage, oh yes, you WILL rage.  The dust rises wraith like from the Playstation 3′s once alive jet black shell. The sobbing of fanboys nestle in your ears, songs of torment & boredom. A hellion, donning a Kaz Hirai mask follows you along the path mocking with every step.

“Where is your Kevin Butler NOW fanboy?”

“Lair? That game sucked ass.”

“RIIIIIIIDGGGE RACERRRRR!”

This is a horrible, horrible place…this place is now your dwelling. Unable to leave until the great server in the sky has be reborn! Yea it will be a sanctuary whence no hacker can put asunder. Believe it brothers & sisters BEEEEELIIIEEEVEEEE!

Or, you can just trade in your PS3 for an XBox.

I think this is jumping the gun.  Abandoning a system, which is still quite alive and well, because a few hackers wanted to be assholes.  It’s been almost a month since the attack and people are itching to camp with the ghost perk in Black Ops (Not me) or rip out someones insides in Mortal Kombat.  What I’d like to ask the fanboys is: What happened to the undying loyalty you had for the Playstation?  The war of words you would have daily with other nerds about how superior your system is over theirs.  The battle of  exclusives, and the death of needing multiple discs.  You (and probably the rest of the world) LOL’d at the demise of the HD-DVD.  Probably even bragged about how awesome Six-Axis was…while the rest of us forget it exists most  of the time.  The honeymoon just ended, and in the settlement, Gamestop gets half.

This mass exodus is surprising.  The PS3 is far from a dead console.  Does no one play single player anymore?  This outage has been the best thing to happen to my backlog!

And the online thing…I had a 360 before it was cool to trade in your PS3 for one.

What happens when the PSN goes back online?  Do you flip your flag again, or will you pull a Newt Gingrich if the shit hits the fan again?

Fuck it, just buy both.  You’re missing out if you haven’t already.

Sellouts.